As we head into the holiday season, this Christmas time can be challenging for some. Life is filled with broken dreams. Things don’t always turn out the way we pictured they would. If they have, that’s wonderful! When it hasn’t, we can really struggle. Whether it’s grief, the breakdown of a relationship, the impact of addiction or mental health on a loved one, or the loss of what could have been. So what do we do with the broken dreams? 
Acknowledge. Start by looking at what you’ve lost and validate how you feel about it. “This isn’t what I planned! This isn’t how I thought life would look at this point!” Don’t pretend it’s not real or minimize it. Start by being honest with yourself and God. Reality actually helps. Feel the feelings — and don’t judge them. They are just feelings.
Triage. What is the damage from your broken dream? Just like we get triaged at the emergency room, a thorough assessment of the damage is necessary to know how to proceed. What treatment is necessary? What needs healing? 
What got impacted? It may not even look, or feel, like you are going to make it. Some damage is permanent while some is temporary.
Seek healing. After the triage, comes the treatment. What needs to be done to help bring healing? Do we need a “surgical procedure” through the skill of a gifted therapist? Do we need medication? Rest? Exercise and homework? Self-compassion? Support? Just as it wouldn’t be wise to check yourself out against medical advice following a bad accident, allow a healing process to happen. Seek wise counsel and receive the support of those who love you.
Baby steps. The journey to healing does not start with a look at the destination. It starts one small step at a time. If we look too far ahead, 
we can get overwhelmed or discouraged or terrified. Baby steps are do-able. Take ownership of your recovery — and do the steps that will help. One baby step in a healing direction is perfect!
Be kind. Being cruel to yourself or others tends to lead to more fracturing and pain. Stop listening to that inner critic and direct your thinking towards things that are helpful, effective and supportive. What we tell ourselves and how we think have a huge predictive impact on our healing.
Time does not actually heal all wounds. Time, a good therapist and a supportive healing process does. Whether you tap into a support or recovery group, 
see a therapist and/or read books on the topic, do the work. Yes it’s hard but it’s also hard to stay where you are. There is nothing quite as beautiful as seeing restoration come into the life of someone who has endured broken dreams. Engaging in the healing process helps to facilitate a healthy, proper outcome. One.baby.step.at.a.time.
